What Would Jacob Marley Say To Us?

"We forge the chains we wear in life." ~ Charles Dickens

I love this time of year. Back-to-back episodes of "A Christmas Carol" in every format and version. Do you have a favorite? I have to say that I am partial to the 1951 Alastair Sim version. Although I've watched the visit of Jacob Marley's Ghost many times, it really caught my attention this time around. I couldn't help but wonder what Marley might say to us about the chains that we have forged.

I'm not necessarily talking about the same chains Ebenezer Scrooge "labored on". Yet, isn't it true that each of us have thoughts and actions -- or lack of -- that are holding us back? Remember that old Ebenezer couldn't see his chains either. But, it doesn't mean they weren't there. So, what are the chains that we've labored on these many years? An honest self-evaluation might reveal a few surprises.

The truth is, all of us have limiting beliefs. In my business, we often refer to these as FUDS -- Fears, Uncertainties, Doubts, and Suspicions. And, while it is quite natural to have them, very few of us really ever find the courage to test their validity. Don't get me wrong, some of our fears and beliefs are real and we need to give heed. But, if we're honest with ourselves -- a trait we highly prize in others -- we'll find that some of what we believe just isn't true. Experience and the thoughts and encounters of our past often have a way of robbing us of future happiness, joy, and success.

We've felt the sting of failure or rejection. Somebody laughed at our dream and we somehow decided they knew more about us than we did and we laid it aside. We may have been told that we'll never amount to anything and then we promptly went about proving it. Truth is, words have power; but fortunately it is a two-way street. I recently heard leadership guru Orrin Woodward talk about this very subject. He basically said that it is not necessarily what happens to us that determines the outcome, but rather the story that we keep telling ourselves. Think about that for a moment. Can you relate? I sure could.

The reality is, the event happened once -- but we've replayed it over and over so many times in our mind that we've accepted it as truth. We've let the negative words sink in and take hold. If there were no words, we found our own -- and we continued to chew on them until they took root in our mind. But again, there is a two-way street and we can change our direction. How? By changing the story we tell ourselves. By facing the brutal reality of any situation and taking personal responsibility for the outcome, we can change the story. When we are no longer shackled by playing the blame game or weighed down by our pity parties, we really can take positive steps toward our own reformation.

Marley came to speak truth to a friend and it started a process of positive change. Fortunately, there are people who are still with us who can fill the role. There are others who can then come and help us come to grips with our past, present and future. People, who like Marley have found that mankind is our business. These people come in the form of pastors, mentors, coaches, teachers, and our dearest friends. Don't make them come looking for you. Seek them out while there is still time. 

What would Jacob Marley say to you? What painful truth would be revealed? Others may choose to continue to wear their chains. They will most likely continue to labor on them, increasing the weight until they cannot move any further. But, what about you? What decision will you make in regard to the past and its FUDS? What is the story that you will tell yourself? Today is the day to write a new script for your life.

As Tiny Tim would say: "God bless us, every one!"